Did Kotex introduce a confetti-filled tampon that could be used to launch a festive cloud of absorbent material into the user's body? No, that's not true: the story was launched by one of America's oldest satire websites, it is not real.
The story originated from an article published by The Onion on December 28, 2018 titled "Kotex Introduces New Confetti Popper Tampons For Ringing In The New Year" (archived here) which opened:
IRVING, TX--Calling the feminine hygiene product the perfect way to usher in 2019 with comfort and style, Kotex introduced their new line of Confetti Popper Tampons Friday to help ring in the new year. "When the clock strikes midnight, simply pull the string on one of our sleek, slim Confetti Popper tampons to join the festivities without worrying about what level of flow the new year might bring," said Kotex CEO Thomas J. Falk, explaining that a charge of compressed air inside the tampon launches a colorful and highly-absorbent blend of streamers and confetti into the user's body.
Users on social media only saw this title, description and thumbnail:
Kotex Introduces New Confetti Popper Tampons For Ringing In The New Year
IRVING, TX--Calling the feminine hygiene product the perfect way to usher in 2019 with comfort and style, Kotex introduced their new line of Confetti Popper Tampons Friday to help ring in the new year. "When the clock strikes midnight, simply pull the string on one of our sleek, slim Confetti Popper tampons to join the festivities without worrying about what level of flow the new year might bring," said Kotex CEO Thomas J. Falk, explaining that a charge of compressed air inside the tampon launches a colorful and highly-absorbent blend of streamers and confetti into the user's body. "With comfortable insertion and a festive noisemaker removal, there's no better way to tell the world, '2019, here I come!'" At press time, Kotex had issued a recall of the product after hundreds of complaints of toxic shock syndrome caused by the tampon's glittery "Happy New Year!" banner accidentally unfolding while still inside their bodies.
But the new tampon is nowhere to be found on the product page of Kotex's website.
That is because The Onion is one of the oldest and best known satire websites on the internet. Their about page claims:
The Onion is the world's leading news publication, offering highly acclaimed, universally revered coverage of breaking national, international, and local news events. Rising from its humble beginnings as a print newspaper in 1756, The Onion now enjoys a daily readership of 4.3 trillion and has grown into the single most powerful and influential organization in human history.
In addition to maintaining a towering standard of excellence to which the rest of the industry aspires, The Onion supports more than 350,000 full- and part-time journalism jobs in its numerous news bureaus and manual labor camps stationed around the world, and members of its editorial board have served with distinction in an advisory capacity for such nations as China, Syria, Somalia, and the former Soviet Union. On top of its journalistic pursuits, The Onion also owns and operates the majority of the world's transoceanic shipping lanes, stands on the nation's leading edge on matters of deforestation and strip mining, and proudly conducts tests on millions of animals daily.
If you somehow find that hard to believe: you are right. Scroll down a bit futher on that page and you'll find this:
What if I want to sue The Onion?
Please do not do that. The First Amendment protects satire as a form of free speech and expression. The Onion uses invented names in all of its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.
Articles from The Onion are frequently mistaken for real news by people on social media that only see the headline, short description and thumbnail image. Being one of the best known satire sites their articles also frequently get copied by "real" fake news sites that don't carry a satire disclaimer. Always Google before sharing something that sounds improbable!
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