Southend News Network To Close After Losing European Subsidies Due To Brexit

Satire

  • by: Maarten Schenk
Southend News Network To Close After Losing European Subsidies Due To Brexit

Southend-on-Sea, U.K. - Consternation today in the British media landscape. One of the most respected official publications in all of the United Kingdom will be forced to shut down after losing European subsidies in the wake of the Brexit from the European Union.

A statement from European Commissar for Media Affairs & Honest Reporting Jaques Meoff from Luxemburg earlier today spelled doom for the Southend News Network:

Europe can no longer afford to spend money on foreign media outlets after the Brexit so we will immediately suspend all subsidies, grants and hush money payments to all British news organisations going forward.

The news was later confirmed when a secret internal memo leaked from Cyrille Onard, a French senior civil servant in charge of European payments to the media:

TO: All staff

RE: We can finally stop paying les rosbif! Parbleu, those hippocrites say zey don't want le Euro but zey didn't seem to care if we paid zem in le Pound Sterling or in le Euro. Aahahaha, who is laughing now, you English person!

Salut et Adieu,

C. Onard

During a press conference later in the day Onard was seen making remarks about the ancestry of the editor in chief of the Southend News Network:

hamster.gif

Yeah, no, that didn't really happen as you probably guessed by now.

If this is your first time visiting this website: welcome! Usually at Lead Stories we write exclusively about trending hoaxes, fake news and satirical stories that people confuse for real news. And we're quite fast about it too, often being the first site on the scene when fake news strikes. You can read more about how we work here.

But today is April Fools' day so we're letting our hair down a little. Instead of ruining other people's jokes we decided to write a few of our own on this special day. We do hope you enjoyed this little bit of satire (if you did, check out our other April Fools' stories). Tomorrow it is back to fact checking for us.

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  Maarten Schenk

Lead Stories co-founder Maarten Schenk is our resident expert on fake news and hoax websites. He likes to go beyond just debunking trending fake news stories and is endlessly fascinated by the dazzling variety of psychological and technical tricks used by the people and networks who intentionally spread made-up things on the internet.  He can often be found at conferences and events about fake news, disinformation and fact checking when he is not in his office in Belgium monitoring and tracking the latest fake article to go viral.

Read more about or contact Maarten Schenk

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